It was a dark and stormy night and the pirates huddled round and said ‘Cap’n – tell us a story’ The captain took a seat at the fire and began -‘It was a dark and stormy night…’

The thunder crashed and the rain fell in torrents. My life evolved into the perfect storm both metaphorically speaking and in reality. And yes, I had a few glasses of wine before anyone thinks of that. It is hard to escape the village of Gardylades, perched on the side of a mountain, without partaking of some hospitality, especially on a night like that.

Reaching home successfully, I collected some wood to keep the fire going
fed the dogs and bedded them down for the night. I noticed two things at this point,- the broadband had gone down and I could not find my set of keys which I had used to open the door of the house. I decided I would look for them in the morning.

All that night, the storm raged, with lightning flashing and thunder crashing overhead very soon afterwards. I woke frequently and at one point, I heard the lightning making a zap that disabled the cooker and the water pump. When I woke in the morning, I found I still had light, so I was only lacking in cooking facilities, water and broadband. Then I remembered the keys. I conducted a thorough search of the premises, as they would say on Crimleline, to no avail. I wandered dejectedly up and down to the woodshed, eyes on the ground, while the rain continued to pour.

Luckily, there was a spare key to the jeep, which I found and used. I developed a theory that one of the dogs had picked up the keys and run off with them. This turned out to be wrong but it didn’t stop me developing a habit of walking round the garden with my eyes on the ground, seeking a glint of metal. Not only was the jeep key on it, but the back door and my BMW keys were on the same keyring. As a background note, I had, the Friday before, used the wrong PIN number for my card and was dipping into emergency cash while I waited for a new number to issue.

By the end of the day, I had the water and cooker and water sorted out and a new modem for broadband installed. But still no sign of the keys. I rang my friend and gave her my theory about the dogs and another theory that I could have thrown them in the fire when I put a log on it before going to bed. She scoffed at both and I had to agree that they were highly unlikely.

I was left feeling distraught and upset. But at least I could drive and everything was working, the PIN number issue being sorted. The days went by and the owners of the house commissioned a Greek man called Eddy to erect a new fence around the garden to keep the dogs in. He asked me would I move the Beemer. I told him the keys were lost and could he keep an eye out. A week went by and Eddy and his lads dug holes which they filled with concrete and got on with the fencing. One Saturday morning, with the sun shining so I could sit out and wait for the sun to come round to the hammock side, I noticed two burnt pieces of metal on the outside table. I picked them up and realised they were naked keys with the plastic melted off.

I ran to where Eddy and his lads were – ‘ Ah Katerina- I found them in the ashes where you had emptied them.’ His look said it all- how could anyone be so dim? Alas, the Beemer keys did not survive and I have had to order a new set.

Was it Victor Frankel who said it is not what happens to you in life but how you react to it? I have been putting that piece of advice to good use. But I still walk around vaguely looking for something on the ground. I never had the satisfaction of seeing them again so I think the failing synapses in my brain, the same ones that made me forget my PIN number, haven’t yet made the necessary connection.

It was a dark and stormy night and the pirates huddled round and said ‘Cap’n tell us a story’. The Captain threw his keys into the fire and said – ‘It was a dark and stormy night….’